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OVERSIZE DAD TEE
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Will the Real Slim Daddy please stand up? You're the one with Cheerios in your pocket.
Snack requests handled like bars. Bedtime negotiations dropped with the kind of precision that deserves more credit than it gets. You're outnumbered, probably out-slept, definitely out-snacked. But you've got a comeback for everything, you're doing it entirely on your own terms, and there are no ghostwriters in this house.
And that's the way the cookie crumbles. There are crumbs everywhere.