Dear Santa, I Can Explain – Unisex Tee for Adults with Questionable Decision-Making

Look, there's context you need to hear.

This tee is for the grown-ups who've had a year. The ones who said they'd hit the gym (January counts). Who promised to save money (experiences are investments). Who swore they'd drink less coffee and more water (iced coffee is basically water).

Technically, you meant well. Technically, the rules were open to interpretation. Technically, there were circumstances involving late nights, questionable choices, and that one Tuesday you'd rather forget.

This shirt is your opening statement. Your legal defense. Your plea for understanding to the man in red who's clearly never had to choose between adulting and living your best life.

🎅 Features for the defense:

• Unisex relaxed fit — comfortable enough for settlement negotiations (aka awkward family dinners)
• Lightweight (142 g/m²), breathable — stays cool even under cross-examination
• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (heathers got a little poly for flexibility, like your moral standards this year)
• Pre-shrunk — unlike your filter after a few drinks
• Classic crew neck — professional enough to plead your case with dignity

For adults who've learned that "good" is subjective, living is messy, and Santa probably did worse in his twenties.

Happy Chaos Gang knows the naughty/nice binary doesn't account for the beautiful complexity of being human. You're doing fine. We have character witnesses (probably).